Best Places To Live

Better brush up on my German. All the occupants of the best places in the world to live (making them the best occupants in the world?) speak Deutsch. 

Norwegianism #3

Norwegians number their weeks. As in the week of January 1st is the first week and so on and so forth. So, for example, you might be asked to come in for an interview in week 14. Not the first week of April, but week 14. This gets quite confusing late into the year, for both foreigners and Norwegians alike. You might think that with all this confusion, Norwegians would maybe be keen on updating their system. Too bad they're too stubborn for that.

In other breaking news, while Nintendo's new wannabe apple device was subject to ridicule and doomed to fade into obscurity, the Japanese game designing company 冗談 came out with a funky, bollywood version of Guitar Hero. This delightful game, known as Sitar Hero, hits stores worldwide on Friday. Game creator Irujaki Minonoki is quoted as saying 私のゲームは驚きで市場、雌犬〔あばずれ〕の上のどんな他のゲームからのソックスも揺り動かすことができます！ はい、それは正しくて、私がたとえ年を取っていて、醜悪であるとしても、ゲームデザインの王で、漁師のようなにおいがします about his new game. Don't just listen to him though, go test it out for yourself. 

So Long, Norway, I'm Moving to Delaware!

You Should Live in Delaware

If you're concerned about me being a little hasty, you needn't worry. I already found a spacious apartment, a sexy boyfriend, and a promising career. Delaware will be good for me. I mean, Wayne and Garth loved it.

My Third Penned Dream About Barack Obama and Norwegianism #2 and An Unrelated Note

Another Barack Obama dream came to me in a restless state of slumber last night. I dreamt that B.O. was my father and I was at this store with him and he was buying me all this stuff, then he had to dash off to some political meeting. After he'd gone, I casually mentioned to a nearby Secret Service agent that sometimes it was nearly unbelievable to me that Barack Obama was my father. Especially noting the fact that we are of different races. Later in my dream we shared a father-daughter bonding activity: snowboarding. 

Norwegianism #2: Norwegians have this really weird way of convincing themselves they are being healthy and exercising. They will go on hikes, which actually just consist of spending most of the day driving to their planned hiking location. Once they have gotten there, they get out of the car, and begin their hike. After they've hiked, oh, say, a grueling 2 kilometers, they take a cigarette break. They continue on. After another 1-2 kilometers, they decide it's high time for a kvikk lunsj, or quick lunch- a type of Norwegian candy bar that they like to take on hikes. It resembles a kit kat bar. Now you probably think Norwegian is just English with a silly accent. You're right.

On and unrelated note, I really enjoy the new Man Man album, and if anyone felt compelled to buy it for me, I would make no objection. 

Norwegianism #1

A certain peculiar Norwegianism I've picked up on throughout my many moons of being here is the inclination to, and almost obsessive tendency for, airing out rooms. I have experienced this fascinating ritual performed many a time by many a Norwegian in their natural habitat, not least of all one of my closest acquaintances, whom we'll call specimen 003. I have been staying in the dwelling place of specimen 003 since precisely 7:00 pm on the eve of Monday, April , 2009 during Easter break (the veneration of religious holidays being another particular Norwegianism) and have noticed that every evening before it is time to rest our heads, she will open the window above the bed, letting the more than brisk and rather bitingly chilly nightime air roll over our weary heads. While my body remains at quite a pleasant temperature all wrapped up in its down comforter, my nose, perhaps owing to its longness (due to its Italian and German nature and heritage) and distance from the rest of my body thus making it an outermost extremity, becomes quite disagreeably chilled. After vain attempts to revive the blood circulation, I reluctantly cede and retire, assuaged only by the thought that if it becomes cold enough, it could fall off, in which case making me a ripe candidate for nasal plastic surgery, finally allotting me the petite, up-turned Norwegian nose I've always desired.